i don’t know if it was my father passing 9 months after my brother did, but i gave up on living the way i used to: burnt out, spread thin, busy. on March last year, i decided to take a break, to reflect.
there was a deafening anxiety that crept up every now and then. the thought of life passing me by as i paused: colleagues, family, friends moving to different phases of their lives when i am just — pausing.
nonetheless, i hit reset. i stopped doing what i used to do and just let myself be. be lazy, lost, anxious, full of vigor, yet trying to push through the days that were slower than a mule, others that just passed by. i went through the ups and downs and sideways of life without work being my refuge.
i spent my days sporadically going to the gym, watching movies, passively engaged in meaningful and creative pursuits. i was all over the place. but it didn’t bother me — it shouldn’t.
i learned a lot about myself. my life as an artist, an entrepreneur, a human being exploring different spheres of life and found myself immersed in web3. i met people from different walks of life. and (re)discovered one thing I value most; accelerated learning.
i rethought most of the decisions i made in the past decade.
what’s my favorite part about being an entrepreneur?
it was having time and spatial freedom to do whatever i want. the ability to independently serve those i decided to serve. carrying the responsibility of knowing how to live was empowering. and i almost forgot to bear the weight it brought with it.
it was sharing what I know as a mentor, a content creator, or through dialogue. when you decide to share what you know, it forces you to learn more, continuously. and that was rewarding.
what was my least favorite part?
in retrospect, i’d say perfectionism. things have to be done in a specific way, have to look a specific way, have to feel a specific way. i expected nothing below that. i followed perfectionism and it led me to burn out.
replacing perfectionism with excellence will be useful.
might as well say it: this is the first issue of my newsletter.
i am not promising a specific cadence. but i know it won’t be the kind of newsletter that fills your inbox too fast that you’re discouraged to read. you won’t forget about it either — i hope you don’t.
i can’t promise expectations. i have been spinning my head trying to (re)focus the newsletter. trying to come up with topics, subjects, and whatnot only to find out that I am up at 2 in the morning writing my heart out. regardless of topic. or style.
i can promise this will be a fruit of love; when i start focusing on numbers only, i will stop.
i hope to see you around more,
b.